〈 ic contact 〉

[mayoboro]

toushirou hijikata
#1470 holly heights
( wife ) • ( shitty son ) • ( daughter )
thanks a lot, saffron

call • text • voicemail • mailbox • spam • action

Comments

•text

[mayoboro]

[wordsidk]

[ Ib hasn't even spoken to Mary's dad before and maybe normally Ib would have just left him alone but lately she's been feeling extra close and protective of Mary and her feelings. ]

Do you know what today is sir?

Re: •text

[nyanprince]

Ah, hello hello!! Is this Hiji?? （°o°；）

I was just curious since little Nai talks about you so often and he makes you out to seem to be a very cool guy!! (/ω＼)

[roses_are_blue]

Hey, Hijikata!

I just wanted to pop on by to see if you wanted to come over to Ib's birthday party on the 22nd. She doesn't know about it yet.

You don't have to. I just know you helped out with Mary's...when she was still around. I'll provide some weak alcohol for adults should they want it...You're free to come.

hey useless cop, do something fo--

[pachintoki]

[putting the text message in the subject line by mistake like a pro]

backdated to the 16th a few hours after their conversation

[copia]

Message attachment: fdg.jpg

It's all done and ready to be packed! Thanks again, Mr. Hijikata! :)

Re: •text

[nyanprince]

Hijikata!! We haven't hung out in awhile, we should go to the beach together!! ヾ(＾∇＾)

Re: •text

[healinguilt]

Sexual harassment in the security department should not be tolerated. I will be pressing charges against Worick Arcangelo. I expect you to take measures against his termination working for the law enforcement unit.

Dr. Naomi Kimishima

Re: •text

[badbreak]

you didnt tell me there was a ocean here
you shitty cop

Re: •text

[badbreak]

hey shitty cop
we can trade

Re: •text

[badbreak]

if a kid named gau calls or shows up or WHATEVER hes a fucking LIAR and an IDIOT and i didnt even hit him that hard

Re: •text

[badbreak]

fuck you you fucking shithead trash

Re: •text

[badbreak]

you scum you shit fuck you fuck off

Re: •text

[badbreak]

cocksucker

Re: •text

[badbreak]

[shoubai]

tooouuuussshhhhiiiimo

•call

[mayoboro]

OK SORRY I FUCKED UP THE FIRST TIME GDI DIFGSDJ

[softbank]

Oi, I don't know what's wrong with your friend, but I think he just gave birth. The one with the missing eyelashes.

—eeer, pen..guin?

•voicemail

[mayoboro]

Backdated aaaaaaallllll the way back to June 1

[prosecutory]

Mr. Toushirou Hijikata? This is Miles Edgeworth, public prosecutor. Please return my call as soon as you are able. Thank you.

•mailbox

[mayoboro]

Re: •mailbox

[pachintoki]

[There's a letter in the mailbox.]

•spam

[mayoboro]

•terrorists

[mayoboro]

[action]

[trashcompacting]

[ Honestly, it's safer not to ask why he had come to the police station in the first place. Perhaps it was follow-up on what had happened with Hiruma. Perhaps it was to put on another sweet face and drag out more info. But it's worth it.

At least two hours after the discovery there's a slow and decisive knock on the door opening into Hijikata's office. He doesn't wait for an answer before nudging it open, Agon's expression twisted into something disturbingly pleasant. ]

What a pleasure to catch you here so quickly... Having a good day, officer?

Re: [action]

[mayoboro]

[there is something obviously gross about the way agon is behaving; it's overly sweet and polite, in a sense. he looks up from his paperwork at the knock and has trained his eyes on the newcomer when he shows up]

Until you showed up.

[he doesn't like agon much at all] What do you want?

•action

[mayoboro]

some time during the night...

[shoubai]

[ a suspicious figure could be seen loitering about the front step of #1470, puttering about like he owned the place. a stalker? a spy? a drunkard who happened to stumble to the wrong house? no one will ever know.

maybe.

come morning, the front door sports decoration most wondrous and beauteous, gleaming gold and multi-coloured in the gentle light of sunrise.

what better way to greet the day than with a glittering, magnificent phallus? from the stop, the more mundane coloured stars appear to spew, like a fountain in the throes of celebration.




he knew those stickers would come in handy for something. ]

text, thursday morning of the 1470 house log

[inviable]

Hey. Is it going better for you or worse?

[He's almost afraid to ask. If they drove Carol out like that, they must be running the poor guy ragged.]

[mayoboro]

[...he had almost forgotten joel was a person he had talked to a few days prior about the house situation]

Well, we've had chicken nuggets since Tuesday. I don't know how to classify that as.

text R U HAPPY NOW

[katonking]

[She totally hummed and hawed over this but goddamn it she can't keep spending money on expensive coffee she needs to save money for Steel Samurai memorabilia Snackoos SCIENCE STUFF her kids. Yeah. That last thing.]

So...hypothetically, if I wanted a coffee machine in the office what would I have to do.


Hypothetically speaking.

YOU DONT EVENK NOW

[mayoboro]

Hypothetically speaking you would have to go to your desk and fill out a request form, first.
Then we'll see if it's within the budget.

[action/mail-ish] ?????????????????

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ it's an evening like any other after a long day of work (or whatever it is that you do all day, Hijikata). nothing suggests it may turn into an early Halloween nightmare (what is only a happy coincidence, really; otherwise there would have been a 'Joyous silly foreign holiday!' card in the mail). ]

[ however, as you approach your house, you may sense a faint scent of tobacco in the air. it would be strange enough that nearby shops seem to have run out of their cigarette stock for the evening, but the real culmination awaits right in front of the house #1470. ]

[ in the middle of the street, there's what looks like a relatively big fire that's just finished burning; some of the smithereens that have still preserved their shape suggest that it was indeed the funeral pyre of some unfortunate smokes. ]

[ you may be feeling a little uneasy now, or maybe just irritated. perhaps you will walk right into your house to check on your secret stash of nicotine. whether it's a secret cabinet, a hole in the mattress, or even if you don't have such a thing and just head right to the bathroom to tinkle, you are going to find IT. ]

[ a nicotine inhaler of a peculiar rather phallic shape, accompanied with a colourful booklet describing its embarrassing use and short history, and a piece of yellow paper with newspaper-collage text on it: ]





[ ...this awkward device seems to be the one and only source of nicotine in the neighbourhood. ]

[ WHAT WILL YOU DO? ]