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[mayoboro]

toushirou hijikata
#1470 holly heights
( wife ) • ( shitty son ) • ( daughter )
thanks a lot, saffron

call • text • voicemail • mailbox • spam • action

Comments

MAIL

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ DING DING DING you got a package in the mailbox! It's a nice package made from brown paper, completely not suspicious in any way. It's not even ticking, in fact. Just your regular package, with possibly that new action figure or fuzzy handcuffs inside, waiting for you to open it. ]

[ If you do, however, there will be a quiet 'poot' sound, perhaps slightly reminiscent of a gorilla's fart, and a small cloud of smoke comes out. ]

[ Turns out it's a newly manufactured and tested bomb, activated by the opening of the envelope, and do you know what it does? Well, you might want to look at the mirror, because your prized bowl-cut has just become a HIDEOUSLY CURLY AFRO. ]

[ There is nothing you can do about it, as if there's some magic or plain idiocy at work, although it will gradually go back to normal in the span of a few days. In the meantime, though, enjoy your suddenly diminished amount of cool. As a bonus, once you go to the bathroom you may notice that your p*bes have, in fact, become as straight and silky as that silver wig from Lady Gaga's collection. It's as if all the curlyness was just transferred to your head. ]

[ Oh, and there's also a message in the bottom of the envelope. ]

TAKE A HIGH PLACE AT THE POPULARITY POLL NOW, BASTARDS.

[ There may have been a signature, but that part is unfortunately scorched beyond reading. Whether you can make out 'Katsura', 'Yorozura', 'The Curry Ninjas' or 'Yorozuya', is entirely up to you. ]