〈 ic contact 〉

[mayoboro]

toushirou hijikata
#1470 holly heights
( wife ) • ( shitty son ) • ( daughter )
thanks a lot, saffron

call • text • voicemail • mailbox • spam • action

Comments

s u r p r i s e

[composure]

[ so him and Mikoto are drunk off their asses at their place and both their PDAs are on speaker phone. as Mikoto rings Vietnam, he decides to be more of an idiot and calls

this number

that he copied from Mikoto's contacts.

RING RING RING ]

[mayoboro]

[moshi moshi]

[this sure is one unknown number, he wonders who it is.]

Yes, this is Hijikata.

[composure]

[ because for some reason his French hasn't really left him (plus he's on his way to a state of drunkenness) ] Bonsoir! Enchanté, Hiji---

Hij--

[ oh fuck why is his name hard to pronounce— nope, that's just him ]

Hijitaka? Non, wait, Hijikata Toshizou!

[ oops wrong first name though ]

[warmest]

[ there's an audible smack-punch-whack on this side too. and a muttered stop with the fucking french. ]

[composure]

[ then there is cursing except it is not French anymore it's probably Finnish but it's garbled and mixed with some... English so yeah, ALIEN SPEAK. and a muttered Alright, I'll stop. ]

Hijikata-saaaan.

[ pause.

crickets chirp.

then: ]

Yo.

[mayoboro]

[has half a mind to hang up. so he just listens in in silence before, not too happily, replying.]

Who are you, and give me a good reason to not hang up right now.

[composure]

Grossier— [ there is a very audible sound of someone smacking another person on the head and what sounds to be a human version of a lion's growl. ] Fine.

Oh, right, you haven't met me yet. Silly me~! I'm Mikoto's husband, by the way.

[ and he sounds pretty...happy about it. cheerful. ]

[mayoboro]

Ah.

[mayoboro]

I see. You sound happy, so congratulations.

[what the hell else is he supposed to say? is he being asked for his blessing? so many questions--]

[mayoboro]

[--that he's not interested in]

[keeping up conversation, as if unphased and then]






[hangs up while talking]

[composure]

[ did he just hang up on them? oh dear, this is not what he... well, it's not like he planned anything.

so. here, have another call.

RING

RING

R I N G ]

[mayoboro]

[answers, though not all that enthusiastic]

Yeah?

[composure]

Did you get Mikoto to suck your dick when you called Vietnam-san?

[ and he gets right to the chase.

which means there is another audible smack to the head and a very audible Fucking pervert from someone who I'm pretty sure Hijikata can recognize by voice alone. ]

[mayoboro]

[is this... a prank call?]

[he seems more bothered about his time being wasted than by the question]

I don't think you understand how this works.

[composure]

[ sadly it is not a prank call...

it is, however, a call, by a slightly drunk person ]

... What? What works?

[mayoboro]

If you want to drunk dial someone you have to make sure you do it right. For one, don't give out your name otherwise it'll be easier to track you down to have you seppuku yourself.

[not answering your question he is the most helpful]

[composure]

[ who uses the term seppuku nowadays... there aren't any samurais in his time.... ]

Sooo.... [ there's a pause as hijikata can probably hear him drinking his nth glass for the night ] how do you drunk dial... exactly... [ if he sounds just a bit slurred, it's because he's...on his way to slurring. sorry, man ]

[mayoboro]

[get on with the times, scum]

If you're asking me how to drunk dial then you definitely should not be doing it. Throw yourself into a small room and shame yourself there where no one can see your disgraceful behaviour.